Bob Caesar's vapid one-way cluelessness is eloquently explored in Explorer.

The article is "This Way and That: Downtown New Albany Mulls Return to Two-Way Streets," and the writer is Jim Grahn. The piece appears in the August issue of Explorer (see below), and can be read in its entirety by snagging a copy of the free publication, which can be found at places like Destinations Booksellers, and at businesses throughout downtown New Albany.

Here's a teaser.

Roger believes downtown New Albany’s recent resurgence could be stoked again with the aid of a new traffic plan. “We don’t want our major downtown streets to be just pass-throughs,” he says. “A traffic plan that is friendly to walkers and bikers, and is consciously designed to direct traffic efficiently is what we should try to do.”

Roger sees a two-way street plan as way to make downtown New Albany more appealing for potential residents who would be attracted to a downtown lifestyle. “We want our downtown to be safe, walkable, and accessible,” he says. “I think two-way streets could be a part of that strategy.”

Naturally, Bob Caesar proves yet again that he can't comprehend even the simplest aspects of urban modernity; if his baseless traffic opinions were applied to the sewer department, we'd be busy digging new ditches in the middle of Pearl Street and dumping the effluent into the river just like his ancestors did. It's easier to pee in a ditch than operate these newfangled commodes, he'd undoubtedly say.

Meanwhile, Develop New Albany still cannot have a viewpoint for fear of compromising its tax-exempt status -- unless, of course, the viewpoint has to do with Riverview Towers, the Farmers Market, or any number of other topics that curiously are not espoused by the national Main Street program ... as two-way streets are.

Thanks to PK for the photos.

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