Encouraged by the continuing presence of the Coke machine out in front of the slumlord property on the 600 block of E. Elm, which apparently (but certainly not unexpectedly) has survived the city's stated intent to remove it from its sidewalk, the newly chartered 1117 East Spring Street Neighborhood Association (1117 NA) is delighted to announce that the first step toward its goal of financial independence will be the world's largest condom dispensing machine, to be located on the city's property where a dead tree currently stands.Whenever the city gets around to cutting down the tree ...
(Psst ... what if they move as slowly on the dead tree as they have on the Coke machine ... then where do we put the condom machine?)
... the 1117 NA will begin constructing its fundraiser.
In other news, the president of 1117 NA, Hugo Baylor (the aria-loving tabby, and one of four cats who are members of 1117 NA) will visit his North Korean leadership counterpart Kim Jong Il next week to seek a grant for $1345.87 that will enable 1117 NA to remove a dead tree from the city's property before the city's target date of 2017.
Is it a large machine or or does it sell large condoms?
ReplyDeleteVery fitting as I had just read a pending press release that The City government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an steam boat to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
ReplyDeleteA condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
(ok, old bad joke, but I couldnt resist)