Geography as the study of yokel mouths agaping.

My wife is a social worker.

For the uninitiated, here is a random web definition of her job: “A social worker is a professional trained to talk with people and their families about emotional or physical needs, and to find them support services.”

Upon returning to the office after our recently concluded holiday, D. noted that we’d just come back from a trip to Europe.

Came the immediate reply: “Did you fly or drive?”

No, not from a client ... from a co-worker.

I’m trying to imagine a European with an elementary school education working in a similar position and making a similar comment, but I can’t. It’s simply inconceivable. All of which reminds me of Bill Maher’s comments in his most recent contribution to Rolling Stone magazine, cleverly entitled “Dickheads of the Year”:

#7: The Solid Quarter

That twenty-five percent of America who would not desert George Bush if he ran over Dakota Fanning with his pickup truck on the White House lawn. Is it a coincidence that twenty-five percent is also the number of people who, in an AP poll of predictions for 2007, said they expect Jesus Christ to return this year!? I don't think it is.

Has anyone ever figured out why it is the case that we Americans so often accept insufficient education as a birthright? My guess has always been that we need an inadequately educated populace to be susceptible to sales pitches so that the consumer economy can continue to hum, but maybe there's more to it than that. After all, we elected Dubya -- not twice, but once.

Here's what Maher has to say about the lame duck in chief:

Who will tell this president what everyone but him already knows? The theory of evolution. And the times tables. And where the sun goes at night. And that Iraq is going to be three different countries. And that everyone hates us and we've run our military into the ground and the Taliban is back and we still haven't caught bin Laden and the economy is tanking and we wasted eight years blowing the oil companies while the Earth is melting. We had a pretty nice house when this Cat in the Hat of presidents came in and made the mess of all time. And who's going to clean it all up — Rudy Giuliani?

Readers, just remember that nothing's so bad that it can't be cured with a few Progressive Pints, and have a wonderful holiday ... even those of you who are cursing me at this very moment.