Council aims to please: Joyfully short meeting permits not one but two Progressive Pints at Connor’s Place afterwards.

Clocking in at 40 minutes flat, last evening’s council soiree was among the shortest in recent memory, with only a few instances of gladitorial wariness and the faintest glint of the long knives yet to come.

Having sent away the tigers much earlier in the day, there is little this correspondent can say about the meeting, and so we’ll rely on the Tribune’s Eric Scott Campbell for a report.

I do seem to recall a random outburst of childlike glee on the part of 1st district councilman Dan Coffey whilst musing aloud at the demise of a stormwater drainage troika whose meetings he never attended in his capacity as council liaison; an effort (later withdrawn after advice by counsel) by the 5th district’s Bev Crump to appoint a new drainage board member; and a bittersweet coda by soon-to-be-retired 2nd district councilman Bill Schmidt, who in the fashion of meandering and self-indulgent prog-rock drum solos from the thankfully passed 1970s, offered a poignant yet gritty soliloquy on one of his favorite topics, the funding of the parking garage at State and Market.

In recognition of this two-hankie moment, CM Schmidt is awarded the “NA Confidential Quote of the Night” trophy, which entitles the bearer to a free six-pack of Coffey’s Bazooka Joe U. engineering certificates:

“There’s not gonna be any slush fund,” barked Schmidt.

As the late, lamented political analyst Madeline Kahn once observed, “it’s twoo … it’s twoo.”