Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Another NA (non-alcoholic) election day.

Another election day is here, and with it eleven hours of state-mandated prohibition against the sale of demon rum.

Presumably, this unwelcome vestige of an otherwise discredited social policy serves as a bulwark against the horrific possibility that unscrupulous politicos or their conniving agents might swap half-pints of Kessler (or a similarly valued slopping spree at Hugh E. Bir’s) in exchange for a poor wretch’s vote.

As there exists no commensurate prohibition against the sale of strong black coffee, chocolate-covered Krispy Kremes and hickory-smoked bacon, apparently the veiled but very real threat of breakfast-induced bribery is not worthy of the same scrutiny as that posed by the insidious grape and the grain.

If you’re hopelessly intoxicated after ingesting that half-pint of Kessler, are you really any more destructive to democracy than the perfectly sober voter who is following instructions provided by a fundamentalist preacher who has promised not temporal inebriation, but a favorable reference when the time comes to take up residence in heaven?

Hey, wait – speaking of votes, where’s my $1.2 million check?

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Don’t forget: You must have an ID to vote – and to get served.

9 comments:

  1. I guess this means *being carded* has a new meaning?

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  2. I personally advocate a strong belt of spirits before visiting the polls in Floyd County : o !!!

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  3. In 15 and 15A, at Silver Slate, the inspector was not checking photo ID and the mixed precinct management left much to be desired.

    Turnout is VERY light by all reports, with 56,000 registered voters in Floyd County. In just an hour, we'll know a lot more.

    BTW, I have a bet with Mr. Goldberg, who took the under on a 22% turnout. Looks like I'll owe Maury a tall glass of Elector!

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  4. I understand the disorganized. When Karen and I went to the polls this morning, they couldn’t find us on the paper. The lady asked more than once if I was sure that I should be voting at the Head Start school. Since I have been voting there for 30 years, I felt pretty comfortable I was in the right spot.

    I noticed the papers they were using were not the old fashion printer type paper that is one continuous length of paper, but single 8.5 by 11, I asked if maybe the pages could be out of order, she assured me that they were not. So, she started talking about a provisional ballet, and I made the comment that I was running for an office and couldn’t even vote!

    She then began checking to see if maybe, just maybe the pages were out of order and low and behold they were! I suggested the next time they invest in a dollar in a 3 ring binder. Or at least print a page number on the bottom of every sheet.

    I love it when a plan comes together!

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  5. 56,000 registered voters in Floyd County? Is that correct? Sounds high to me.

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  6. Sounds INCREDIBLY high to me, too, Iam.

    But then, voting from beneath a headstone (absentee of course) is apparently how Bill Schmidt continues to get re-elected.

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  7. Ali,
    I resent and resemble your remark about the "elderly" voters in 19A!!! I was one of the two who screwed up their ballot at about 5:20pm yesterday.

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  8. He's just joking. People his age get bizarrely sensitive about references to "elderly."

    (laughing)

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  9. NA is correct Ali. Forgot to put a "smile" in there. Sometimes jokes and sarcasm do not come across well on the net. Sorry. I was laughing when I read your post and while I was repsonding.
    Roger knows me well enough that he understood. I don't mind dissing myself as well as others!

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