Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer has announced a multi-billion dollar agreement with AB-InBev to build its new Goose Island brewery in downtown Louisville.
The marquee project, to be financed with TIF bonds other than those already exhausted by the Yum Center's perpetual drain, includes luxury apartments, state of the art wi-fi, dorm fridges and a rooftop bocce ball complex.
"What's good for the Goose is good for the gander," crowed Fischer. "The ripple effect of this deal puts Louisville on the international brewing map by partnering with the acknowledged world leader in brewing portfolio diversification."
Fischer's thirst-quenching plan provides AB-InBev with brand exclusivity within a one-mile radius of the building site, which must be cleared of all superfluous historic structures before the zoning review is completed.
Existing independent Louisville breweries within this mile radius will be compelled to sell their equipment, labels and assets to Goose Island, which as Fischer noted in the press conference, "Just makes it easier for those wonderful guys, so they can they can get up and running and putting some of that wonderful world-class beer into barrels, because that's so Kentuckian of them."
"You can really start to feel the enormous transformation that's a going on in our downtown and how it's so good for entertainment and business in the state in so many different areas," Fischer said. as he cradled an ice-cold Shock Top.
Yes, the preceding is satire. Just be aware that if the same standards Fischer applies to "economic development" matters like the Omni Hotel were to guide his decisions on local beer, then you would not be reading this story by Sara Havens in Insider Louisville.
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