Friday, July 01, 2005

Mass exodus to Birdseye; little people evacuate New Albany in search of cleanliness, lower educational standards.

Councilman Cappuccino’s provisional city government totters on the brink of dissolution today as dozens of New Albany’s littlest “little people” continue to flee the city in wee droves.

Miniature convoys of little cars, little RVs and little motorcycles, most piled high with little suitcases and little boxes, have barely been noticed streaming in the general direction of tiny Birdseye, where the doomsday Brambleberry sect’s leader, Councilman Cappuccino, vows to establish an exceedingly small government in exile.

CM Cappuccino, spotted yesterday at Big Lots buying Guatemalan tinned bologna, past-date bottles of KC Masterpiece and crates of orange Kool-Aid, blames pointy-headed book learners and ever changing cultural standards for his present political plight.

“I know all about funding the Gap,” snapped CM Cappuccino, “because that’s where my kids want to go and shop, and I tell ‘em look, Wal-Mart’s fashion line is just as good.”

According to the “little people” themselves, the imminent threat of increased prosperity and higher property values as New Albany’s revitalization proceeds are their primary reasons for seeking asylum in bucolic Birdseye.

Others point to the Village People’s 70’s-era hit song “YMCA” as a prophetic and almost Biblical warning -- albeit without divine sanction -- against allowing the Scribner Place project to go through.

“We are the little people,” sputtered one refugee yesterday as he relieved himself behind a blade of grass along the highway median, “and we will be heard!”

13 comments:

edward parish said...

http://www.fox19.com/Global/story.asp?S=3542208&nav=0zHFbeFL

The New Albanian said...

By Alex Davis in today's Courier-Journal:

Census provides mixed picture Charlestown up, New Albany down

Excerpts:

"The decline in New Albany's population -- which was greater than all but 11 other Indiana cities -- caught City Councilman Larry Kochert by surprise.

"'I was totally unaware of that,' he said after being told about the city's loss of more than 700 residents -- a 2 percent drop -- from April 2000 to July 1, 2004.

"Kochert said he didn't know exactly why the city is losing residents. It might be caused by a lack of decent jobs, he said, or because the city has not pursued annexations as aggressively as other cities."

Councilman Dan Coffey, barbecuer and demographer, also comments for the story.

Karen Gillenwater said...

"Coffey said the city needs more high-paying jobs, and an effort to fill vacant homes in existing neighborhoods."

Here is more obvious evidence that the city should not be involved in the Scribner Place project. We all know that adding amenities, such as a YMCA, near those vacant homes would not attract people to move into them. (Since they are much more attracted by empty buildings, trashed homes, and abandoned cars.) The jobs that would be created at Scribner Place would not be of consequence either as they will apparently not be “high-paying” by his standards.

edward parish said...

R.Mutt, then the folks downtown need to stop subdivison devolpment permits and hopefully some of the rich will spend their money on remodeling some of the fantastic older homes within the NA open air museum corridor. My wife and I have remodeled 5 homes in NA and would gladly do more if the tax incentive was available to do so. And NO they would not be rental property, but for sale as they should be.

Be sure to take plenty of photos of the beautiful hillside of the knobs, because it will look like San Francisco and Cincinnati with wall to wall homes before it is all said and done with.

Karen Gillenwater said...

Thank you, Edward.

I, for one, don’t get it. Why do these people take out beautiful green spaces to build McMansions? I understand people who buy acres of land and build a custom home to suit their family because they want to live in, enjoy, and take care of that green space.

But why don’t these people who live in subdivisions to be near other families do so in historic downtown areas? The homes are already there. And, as you pointed out, they have much more character! In New Albany, they could be near other families and near the increasing numbers of small businesses and restaurants. They could walk their kids to the library, museum, riverfront, and wetlands. There are so many benefits.

I don’t know if it’s merely a question of priorities and opinions—they would rather drive to Wal-mart and McDonald’s than walk to the library and Federal Hill. With some people it has to be a matter of not know what they’re missing. Our work to improve and promote downtown has to help, but what are we to do when our elected officials work against us? Coffey says one thing and does another. It isn’t right for him to say that we need more jobs and residents in downtown and then work against projects like Scribner Place that would accomplish those very things.

edward parish said...

Did the bluegill's buy in the downtown NA area? I pat Mr.&Mrs.New Albanian for making the jump to a house downtown instead of opting for the new town corridor. Our home was built in 1951, but I really miss the Victorian we had on Market St. Do not miss the up keep but miss the neighborhood for sure.

All4Word said...

The "bluegills" are in the heart of the historic district - on Market Street.

edward parish said...

We totally rebuilt 713 E. Market

Jeff Gillenwater said...

Ed,

I know what you mean about the neighborhood. It was our interest in older homes and diversity (along with an overarching interest in sustainable living) that first spurred us to consider moving downtown.

Current residents, ESSNA, Destinations and NAC, though, turned that from a two year plan into an immediate one.

I often wonder how many of the "anti" crowd simply don't appreciate the culture that these folks have brought to the city.

All4Word said...

Sometimes, Tim, sometimes. It's an equipment problem more than it is a personnel or management problem. It's regrettable and it will be fixed, but right now the city is handcuffed by the equipment and its frequent breakdowns. It's fair to criticize and lamentable, but all you have to do is ask.

Glad I could clear that up for you. Who did you ask who refused to tell you this?

The New Albanian said...

What is high paying by Dan Coffey's standards?

na girl said...

I think there are a couple explanations for our decrease in population that do not mean that people are moving away from NA.

From doing market research on NA I kinow that there is an above-average number of older women who are widows. Many of these women are probably now living alone in the residence that they shared with their husbands.

It is also more socially acceptable for single persons to live alone. Here in our neighborhood there are lots of single people living in houses that were once occupied by couples and families.

That doesn't mean we don't need to clean up our city and promote our older neighborhoods.

The New Albanian said...

Nice to hear from you, CannonFarms.

I deleted one of your posts only because it had repeated, which happens occasionally.

Good luck with the house. We all want to see it pass to someone who'll respect the long, incredible heritage it boasts.