Monday, October 19, 2020

Trump and toxic masculinity: "The core struggle for men is not with one another, but between our own warring selves."

If the rot is as deep as it seems, many of the enablers will begin slipping away to preserve future self-aggrandizement opportunities. It's likely to end with a whimper, not a bang. Like so many suffering from toxic masculinity, particularly the hardcore narcissists, there is an element of cowardice. 

I Wrote Trump’s ‘The Art of the Deal.’ And I’m Terrified of What He’ll Do Next, by Tony Schwartz (Daily Beast)

... This is toxic masculinity in action—the sense of entitlement, the embrace of privilege, and the wanton exercise of authority over others. It’s also marked by the rejection of any qualities that might be considered feminine, including gentleness, vulnerability, and empathy—the very qualities that Biden is relying on to distinguish himself from Trump.

For Trump, and for so many men desperate to hold onto control they fear is slipping way, the tactics include disparaging rather than encouraging others, reacting harshly rather than reasoning calmly, seeking certainty rather than struggling with complexity, and blaming others in a conflict, instead of first reckoning with their own responsibility. As the psychologist Terry Real puts it, “We raise boys to live in a world in which they are either winners or losers, grandiose or shame-filled, perpetrator or victims.”

The power that most men feel is fleeting and fragile, easily shattered by criticism, and uncushioned by the capacity for intimacy. Without deep relationships, including with themselves, too many men find themselves perpetually looking for ways to fill their inner emptiness and prove their worthiness.

The core struggle for men is not with one another, but between our own warring selves.

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