Wrong-way deer on wrong-way Spring Street in wrong-way city. At least there'll be venison tarts for high tea.

We received this report late Wednesday night from an observer situated near Vincennes Street.

Just witnessed a deer running down Spring Street. That was a strange sight because she was headed the wrong way. Another reason for two-way streets.

Bob Caesar quickly faxed a statement to the press.

This obviously was an anti-establishment deer to have been running the wrong way on a right-way street that quickly and efficiently brings customers to read the "closed" sign on my former business. 

Speaking for the elected mayor, his communications coordinator offered this:

The Board of Public Works and Safety has awarded a $25,000 contract to HWC Engineering for a detailed study to determine better ways of monetizing this deer's route for enhance public safety and campaign finance.

According to police chief Todd Bailey,

We believe the deer escaped from the petting zoo planned for the bocce courts at Break Wind, but if you really want to know, you'll have the ask the prosecutor's office. 

As usual, Irv Stumler gets the last word.