Just Put It On My TIF Tab, Waiter: The Top 10 Jeff Gahan Project List for a Triumphant Second Term.

10
Gilligan’s Island Theme Park and Tiki Bar at the Loop Island Wetlands – I mean, millennials just love the Skipper, right? I sure do.

9
Wait -- these floors have eyes, so we need to hire a few Navajos code talkers to encrypt this list.

8
A big city-wide U-Haul gift card giveaway, but see, we rig it so Duggins wins, and then maybe he’ll move to New Albany and vote for me.

7
Eternal Kool-Aid tap at the "Mayor Jeff Gahan Presents the Aquatics Center" – we can have the Square thingy go straight to the Democratic Party account, right Shane?

6
Finally, a meaningful public art project: Put big colorful pictures of me on buildings just like that Korean fellow does.

5
Next week, Gonder’s house becomes the new homeless shelter –that’ll show him who makes the rules around here … right, Adam?

4
Go ahead and put in a line item somewhere for that Torquemada costume Coffey wants so bad. Maybe he’ll stop being such a baby.

3
Who needs Houndmouth! Let’s get Spinal Tap to headline Boomtown next time. "Don't Stop Believing" is my favorite song, ever.

2
Don’t forget to let the lady of the house approve this list before you hit “send”, or I’ll never hear the end of it ... right, Connie?

1
Free sewer tap-ins for anyone who “likes” Gahan for Mayor on Facebook!!!!!!!