Trick out my warehouse, dog.

As first reported in the anonymous comments section at a local anonymous troglodyte blog, the city Of New Albany is giving me a warehouse.

Why am I always the last to know? The gift of a warehouse is appreciated, but I don't have any wares to house there. Would any of you like to underwrite a Big Damned Brewery?

Wait; scratch that. I completely forgot that the city, having relegated Mainland Properties to the queue of commoners, will be building me a free parking garage with matching sidewalks, gratis, all the better to build a Big Damned Brewery and a Quonset Condo atop it all and truly crown the waterfront.

Then there's the interest accrued on the cool million still owed me by former Mayor Garner, another story broken some years back by the city's tireless troggiebloggers.

Maybe some day the city fathers will go with the smart money and just hands the keys to New Albany to me. It'll be just like Papa John owning Anchorage, Kentucky, with the difference being that I will not support Mitt Romney, slam Obamacare or produce wretched pizza.