It's why I say, "Death to Chains."

Speaking of the monolithic corporation's early years, Wikipedia observes, "In 1986, the name of the concept was changed to Applebee's Neighborhood Grill & Bar to reflect the (founders') original concept of a place people could call their own."

The amazing fact that ordinary Americans regularly can be duped into believing a $1.2 billion company with 2,000 locations has much of anything at all to do with their neighborhoods, or might somehow be "their own" in any truly meaningful way, says as much about PT Barnum as the study of aberrant human psychology.

However, if I were a parent, what would concern me most is not my "own" gullibility, but the way we smilingly permit Applebee's and its ilk to "own" our children through tactics like that pictured above. We might as well allow corporate America to buy up future employment rights for kids at the earliest age possible, perhaps in exchange for gift cards.

Thanks to K for the photo: "This was a paper that came home in my kindergartener's folder. It's a cruel, cruel joke ... "

Yep. It is.