Let's rant for a bit on opportunistic sales buzzards ...

Apart from all other considerations, it's grimly humorous to note the noticeable changes in the composition of attendees during those first two Tuesday morning "emergency" Merchant Mixer meetings, which took place at the Grand in the immediate wake of the Sherman Minton Bridge's closing on September 9.

During the first meeting, there were more business owners and the usual collection of concerned parties from government and non-profits. At the second meeting, there were fewer locals and more carrion-pickers, i.e., sales people of varying stripes looking to capitalize on anxiety by means of their proven records of successfully extracting money for advertising schemes, coupon giveaways, and social media ... whatever.

Over the weekend, a representative from Clear Channel (the radio monopoly, not Amy Adams' political fluffability barometer) contacted us with a sure-fire radio advertising plan to ease the pain of Shermageddon.

This is as good a time as any to remind her and others:

(1) There'll be no audiences for anyone who uses the term "Shermageddon," because it is what was avoided when the bridge was closed for repairs, and it did not actually occur. Exaggeration is bad, and tacky exaggeration borne of societal self-illiteracy is worse.

(2) As noted previously ...

Stop "reaching out" before I tear your arm off.

(3) Do not speak to me of coupons: Coupon Sites Are a Great Deal, but Not Always to Merchants.

What's that? You say you know the secret to small business success, and all I must do is pay you for it? But it you knew the secret, why aren't you in business yourself?

That's what I thought. Bye.