It's Price vs. the HPC, third round, as kindergarten vandalism returns to tonight's council agenda.

It's the first Monday of the month, and you know what that means: It's Coffey Time, otherwise known as a meeting of the Common Council of the City of New Albany.

The 3rd district uncouncilman Steve Price will introduce his enduringly entertaining "gut the HPC and barbecue the carcass for some Buffett karaoke" ordinance for a third, doomed reading.

Having informed the assembled throng last time that hundreds of starving New Albanians oppose preservation, yet being congenitally unable to produce them or to induce them to emerge from hiding (you see, it's those persistent fears of molestation at the hands of vindicative and fanatical preservationist zombies), you'd think that Price spent the last two weeks assembling a witness or three.

What about that guy sleeping there on yonder rental couch? He certainly looks oppositional.

Meanwhile, masochists need only consult The Comprehensive Guide to Soporific Stupor for complete listings. I shan't be there, as it is time for another Office Hours with the Publican at the Public House. Imperial Stouts are on the agenda tonight.

Have fun, friends and neighbors. Just imagine what it might be like to have a councilman with a pulse.