Longtime readers have seen this one before, but it's appropriate to repeat these sentiments before each election. The text below is my latest reworking, slightly edited, and as published as a "Mug Shot" article for LEO (it appeared on Wednesday, April 30, 2008).
Needless to say: The Public House will not be open until 6:00 p.m. on Tuesday, November 4. Sportstime Pizza will observe regular hours beginning at 11:00 a.m., for what is destined to be an excruciatingly dry lunch. Sportstime has four flat screens to watch election returns, and in a departure from the norm, we'll have a couple of televisions available at the Public House, one in the front room, and, for the first time, another in the bar.
There'll also be another Elector Day/Election Night promotion. When the doors open at 6:00 p.m., you can buy an NABC pint glass of Elector "It Makes Democracy Pointless" Ale at the regular price and keep the glass. Limited to the first 50 or so customers.
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If everyone gets to vote ahead of time, what's the rationale for banning alcohol on Election Day?
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Yes, Election Day brings with it roughly eleven hours of state-mandated prohibition against the sale of demon rum, and consequently the bars can't open until the polls close. Of course, one might drink continuously until 3:30 or 4:00 a.m. election morning, and then nurse a carry-out six-pack or a bottle of single malt Scotch during the comparatively brief time it takes to watch an Adam Sandler DVD before crawling off in a stupor to vote when the polls open at six.
Presumably, this unwelcome vestige of an otherwise discredited social policy serves as a bulwark against the horrific possibility that unscrupulous politicos or their conniving agents might swap half-pints of Kessler (or a similarly valued slopping spree at the community's on-premise watering holes) in exchange for a poor wretch's vote.
As there exists no commensurate prohibition against the sale of strong black coffee, chocolate-covered Krispy Kremes and hickory-smoked bacon, apparently the veiled but very real threat of breakfast-induced bribery is not worthy of the same scrutiny as that posed by the insidious grape and the grain.
If you're hopelessly intoxicated after ingesting that half-pint of Kessler, are you really any more destructive to democracy than the perfectly sober voter who is following instructions provided by a fundamentalist preacher, who in turn has promised not temporal inebriation, but a favorable reference when the time comes to take up residence in heaven?
I think not, and hope you had the foresight to visit your favorite package store on Monday night. Otherwise, remember that the taps open at 6:00 p.m., and to quote Groucho Marx, then there'll be "dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor."
I live about 3 doors away from my polling place, and I voted at about 6:05am...straight Democrat...and was back home in 13 minutes. I thought that being that close to the place..maybe I could be the first one to vote. By the time I walked across the parking lot..I wound up being #8, and the line was growing. It's going to be fun!
ReplyDeleteI was number 46 at precinct #10 Ekin Ave Rec Center at 7:10 am. I think this is about double for the first hour. There was no wait at either poll (two vote there) was in and out. Look forward to a fun day myself and a glass of Elector at 6:05 pm.
ReplyDeleteThanks John and Matt. You beat me to the punch i starting a new open thread for election day, so I'll copy these comments to it.
ReplyDeleteReaders, visit the more recent post if you'd like to make election comments.
http://cityofnewalbany.blogspot.com/2008/11/election-open-thread-and-live-blogging.html
With early voting beginning four weeks before the election, I think it is imperative to ban alcohol sales for that entire four weeks. I know I couldn't vouch for my sobriety when I voted early, last Wednesday. <grin>
ReplyDelete