Saturday, January 19, 2008

Trogs ablaze as things they don't quite get just keep happening.

We must be doing something right.

Here's a sprinkling of anonymous opinion gleaned from the pages of another local blog, where the last original post went up on March 25, 2007 … and the comment graffiti has been indiscriminately layered ever since.

Obviously, it’s way past time for a good old-fashioned power washing, but I must admit that at some fundamental level, it simply never gets old watching my old pal “anonymous” emit all-cap primal screams.

Evidently I’m a social dysfunction fetishist. Cue Ms. Dietrich: "Nothing I can do … can’t help it."

WE URGE ALL CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY TO BOYCOTT RICHO'S & DESTINATIONS BOOKSTORE. THE COMMUNIST & ATHEIST ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER OUR CITY.

Tsk, tsk. Actually, the older I get, the more I begin to see H.L. Mencken’s point about the efficacy of a benevolent monarchy in keeping the booboisie in line. It bears noting that while I’ve never denied unbeliever status, the bookstore owner is neither Commie nor atheist ... and we’re not brothers, damn it!

Those progressives have all just committed political suicide.

Are you kidding? We can’t even get the progressives together in one room to discuss plans for the imminent coup d'état, much less line them up to drink the mayor's Kool-Aid.

How about a citizens revolt?

How about it?

(Crickets chirp, pins drop, crowds swell outside Wal-Mart)

Well, that works if only one or two people revolt, but if 100's of New Albany citizens revolt at the same time. Boycott those business and tell them all to go to hell downtown and consider hitting them where it hurts in the wallot.

Few people realize that the mysterious Wallot is actually Shallot’s brother, and both of them were prime ministers of Lebanon prior to being assassinated during the Reagan years. Wallot’s connection with New Albany remains unclear, although it is surmised that while still dead, he contributed illegal campaign funds to Verle Huffman’s ill-fated “bring square dancing back to downtown” mayoral candidacy.

Anyway, speaking for my “spiritual” brother in arms, we’re absolutely delighted that “100’s” of New Albanians who neither read nor consume progressive pints will commence an immediate boycott of our businesses.

Fortunately for them, I hear that Steve Price is opening a combination soup kitchen/bucket o’swill emporium downtown, to be called the Recession Cafe ("Where there's smoke, there's fire!")

Ah, the glories of unbridled competition. It’s the commie-atheist way, don't you know.

9 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. For the record, we just completed our most successful 12 months, our most successful calendar year, our best holiday season, and our best December. All in the face of the boycott. Thanks.

    Anyone know the Michael L. Gregory, 41, of Dona Street in Floyds Knobs who was arrested on an auto-theft charge? See today's edition of The Tribune...

    Five arrested in alleged auto-theft ring.

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  3. I hate to disappoint the goofballs even further, but the 'seed lady on main street' is in the process of setting up a grant fund with Community Foundation of Southern Indiana to award grants for community beautification projects.

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  4. well at least Mr. Gregory doesn't keep his love confined to New Albany. Way to spread the filth. Creep

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  5. "I will not support none of the mayoral candidates"

    I need a little help dissecting this sentence. Does this mean they will support all of the candidates?

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  6. matt:
    I don't think it means nothing like that.

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  7. Communists and Atheists! Oh my...

    If I didn't love books and beer as much as I do, I would have to participate in a boycott like that.... if it were 1950! Do people still worry about things like that anymore?

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  8. On the other hand, we all need to get along. Let's make this a real community effort. Join me, in joining the boycott of Richos every Sunday. I also promise to not buy any books from Destinations--written by Karl Rove.

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  9. Roger, if you would just stop attaching the little people we wouldn't have these problems.

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