“Dork and Mindy” advocate openness – behind their bleeding skull voodoo masks, of course.

Professor Erika’s latest blogomanic screed is a particularly intemperate boilerplate directed against the mayor of New Albany, the city’s street department head, and its police and fire chiefs – all of whom the masquerading academic identifies by name prior to hiking a grizzled leg for indiscriminate spraying.

Nothing about this dysfunctional behavior is unusual, except that in this case, she hilariously invokes the memory of Honest Abe at Gettysburg to preface a mighty thunderclap of rhetorical flatulence on behalf of the nobility of “transparency.”

What's good for the goose ...

Actually, few people who actually manage to be elected to a public office are capable of hypocrisy on this massive a scale, but don’t take my word for it.

Consider that he (“Erik”) actually is she (Ms. Denhart), and that she pretends to be a college professor. Remember that her character assassination always is conducted anonymously, and that she is abetted in her covert activities by a “citizens advocate” (Ms. Bolovschak) who continues to disingenuously deny involvement in the juvenile shenanigans.

And yet, she – make that “they” – rage and blow about the importance of “transparency.”

Did I say hypocrisy? Add a heaping bilespoon of cowardice, and voila! It’s “freedom” of speech, embittered troglodyte-style.

Serve with obvious buffoonery and toadstool sandwiches for best results.