Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Councilman Cappuccino fights for the right to be small, laments plague of book learning that has descended on the city.

On Tuesday, procedural reasons delayed New Albany’s Redevelopment Commission from voting on the issuance of bonds as part of the city’s commitment to Scribner Place, but it isn’t expected to delay the commencement of the project, clean-up for which is beginning soon.

For a full description, consult Scribner Place bonds to be sold, by Amany Ali, Tribune City Editor.

At the Redevelopment Commission meeting, Mark Sanders of the dynamic East Spring Street Neighborhood Association joined groundbreaking local businessman Carl Holliday in supporting Scribner Place.

At the same time, a city resident, evidently confusing economic development and revitalization with the huge portions of Honey Baked Scrapple available during the recently concluded Harvest Homecoming, accused the city of “biting off more than we can chew.”

Of course, for some of our city's veteran obstructionists, attempting to turn the pages of the calendar forward to 1975 is biting off more than they can chew.

Councilman Dan Cappuccino, he of the postage-stamp sized principality of West Endia, immediately joined the aforementioned citizen in condemning the Scribner Place project and everyone it stands for, noting that many of the impoverished residents of his own fiefdom – people he has failed to enrich in any measurable way during decades of grating self-aggrandizement on the political stage – wouldn’t be able to afford membership in a YMCA, and for this reason, the remainder of the city should immediately be pulled down to the councilman’s level.

Councilman Cappuccino then proposed a voter referendum on whether snooty educated people who insist on accomplishing better things should be allowed to ruin the barbecued bologna for the rest of us.

Meanwhile, unaware that the Redevelopment Commission and the City Council aren’t the same body, and unable to attend owing to a prior commitment to “Play Some Skynyrd” for the annual Slumlord Benevolent Society ball at Hugh E. Bir’s, 3rd district Uncouncilman Steve Price courageously voted “no.”

When asked what he was voting against, UCM Price said it doesn’t matter, and launched into a rousing rendition of “That Smell.”

The odor is familiar.

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