David Duggins will be the interim director of the New Albany Housing Authority, a job for which he has absolutely no previous experience.
As such, let's make some lemonade.
I'm tanned, rested, ready and willing to replace Duggins as the city's economic development director, a job for which I have absolutely no experience -- but how hard could it possibly be giving away taxpayer money to people who already have it?
Here are six reasons to lobby your councilman on my behalf.
- No qualifications, low expectations.
- Pirates know how to steal a deal.
- I'm a team player: $80,000 a year with benefits shuts me right the fuck up.
- I promise to demand not one cash-stuffed envelope more than what my predecessor was receiving, according to the hash marks on the cigar box in the corner of his office.
- I pledge allegiance to the Random TIF Generator, and to the Gahanism for which it stands.
- Craft beer my ass. I'll gladly quaff ice cold Bud Light Limes with paving company executives and visiting ... condo development ... sewer tap in abatements ... those cattle cars.
On second thought, never mind.