Monday, June 02, 2008

Six degrees of separation: Passive-aggressive potty training and the city’s genetic (political) defecation dysfunction.

Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with the city of New Albany.

No matter the topic – NASCAR, apple pie recipes, “American Idol,” science fiction novels, quantum physics or the sex life of 17-year cicadas -- residents can rest easy, safe in the knowledge that some one, somewhere, will find a creative way of linking the topic at hand to the sewer utility.

Forever and always, we return like pre-programmed lemmings to the waste products of the citizenry, coursing lazily through a system that numerous generations of local politicians seeking reelection above all else intentionally neglected, refusing to expend dollars and political capital, and inevitably transferring the day of reckoning to future generations.

As recently as 2006, an woefully inept and plainly malicious city council chose to deploy economic development funds (EDIT – see the preceding reposted “REWIND” articles for more) to keep necessary sewer rate increases to a minimum, all the while cravenly ignoring inconvenient facts: (a) misusing EDIT funds in such a way ensures a higher ultimate tax burden on the very people the council vows to protect from modern times, and (b) if New Albany’s economic pie were made bigger through development, there would be better ways of providing assistance to the “fixed income” segment of the population whose plight is constantly referenced by the likes of Steve Price to – that’s right – preclude economic development.

Why there is anything resembling admiration, or even tolerance, for politicians like these is well beyond my comprehension as owner and user of a garden variety human brain. They wouldn’t make the same decisions if it were their own families at risk, but when it has come to the future of the city itself, the numbingly predictable hand is almost always played. It’s enough to make a person cynical.

And so, here we go again. Yesterday’s C-J scooped the Tribune with this article:

New Albany mayor wants sewer rate hike

New Albany Mayor Doug England's administration is pursuing a sewer rate increase of about 22 percent to pay for construction that officials view as essential to stay in compliance with federal environmental laws.

Of course, this number lies roughly in line with the Garner administration’s 19% increase proposal of 2006, which was averted through the council’s ill-considered EDIT fund pillage. But we already told you that ... and two years ago.

Here is the England administration’s side of the story, as detailed in this e-mail transmission from Carl Malysz, Deputy Mayor/Director of Community Development:

There will be a Common Council Workshop at 6:00 PM on Monday, June 2, 2008 in the 3rd Floor Assembly Room to hear the England Administration's proposals for sanitary sewer and street and alley improvements (pavements restoration plan and major thoroughfare plan). In addition to identifying the proposed projects, the England Administration will discuss how the respective programs should be funded.

There were ordinances placed on the agenda that have now been "pulled", i.e., they will not be introduced at the regular Common Council meeting that same evening at 7:30 PM. Apparently, the Common Council leadership wants to conduct the work session and then give the England Administration ample time (days) to answer questions and present additional information before the bills are introduced, heard and voted upon.

I have to assume that this is approach is being taken so that there is a clear understanding of what is at stake with the future of New Albany. There has been so much "spin" and misinformation given to Common Council members in the past about the sanitary sewer system that the Common Council leadership wants to be able to create some distance between the past and the present and future.

Attendance at the Workshop is VERY IMPORTANT because citizens will be able to hear the same information that the Common Council will hear and use in making its decisions. Citizens will then be able to hear and speak the same language as the England Administration and the Common Council.

While the bills regarding sanitary sewers and street and alley restoration will not be considered at 7:30 PM, there are several other Resolutions on the Common Council agenda that deal with the CDBG Program and Tax Increment Financing. These financial tools are a significant piece of the financial puzzle. Therefore, citizen attendance and support at the 7:30 PM meeting is encouraged and welcomed.

I’m well aware that there is another side to this story, one that I’ll gladly publish in this space once I receive it straight from an informant willing to put his or her name alongside the text (are you reading, Even Deeper Throat?)

Better yet, perhaps the alternative version might for once come to me directly from the politician responsible for its perpetuation, because I’m rather bored with cryptic e-mail transmissions from confederates, when the original source might deign to pick up the the phone and call me, or send the e-mail himself.

That’s because as the clock ticks, I’m thoroughly sick of local politicians who are allergic to coherent platforms and can’t bring themselves to offer some clue as to what they really believe and are seeking as our representatives. Who are you ... and what do you want? Is that so difficult?

I’m also sick of congenital oppositionists who can vote “no” until the end of time but have no alternative plan whatsoever beyond huddling in their hovels and cursing the advent of the millennium.

And, I’m sick of “experts” with little more education (and toilet training) than my household cats, pontificating and bloviating like Italian opera singers, but at the end of the day having nothing whatsoever creative or constructive to offer a 21st century human society.

All the preceding are symptoms of a recurring, perverse, passive-aggressive approach to a Swiss cheese pastiche that only approximates governance, an enduring dysfunction that hinders every manifestation of human progress, makes this city a laughing stock, but of course ensures the continued pre-eminence of conspiratorial, pompous and self-importantly bloated fish in a perpetually small pond that is kept petite for a reason.

Speaking personally, I’m for charging whatever sewer fees it takes to (a) end the crippling EDIT subsidy and run the sewer system the way the EPA says, and (b) get the EDIT funds back where they should be, to be used for economic development, not political grandstanding. While we’re at it, we should float whatever bonds are necessary to pave and redirect the streets, and repair infrastructure.

You may disagree, but for me, doing these things is the city’s basic matching tithe (along with enforcing its own laws) for the numerous entrepreneurs who are already investing in New Albany and will invest even greater sums in the city if it is a functional place in which to do business.

And one last thing: Right now, it isn't functional. Some of you should seriously consider psychotherapy. Look how much it’s helped me conquer my own anger …

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The following 2006 articles have been freshly reposted, and precede this one in chronological order. Just scroll down or view the listings to the right.

08/08/06
Objects in Rearview Mirror May Appear Larger (because they actually are)

08/23/06
Do the funky Kochert: Sewer rates all about how the “voters are going to feel about it.”

08/24/06
Boner and Jethro: Sewer – heal thyself!

08/29/06
What to do when the City Council wastes all your EDIT money

08/30/06
UPDATED: Opportunity rings door bell, City locks door

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