Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Another NA (non-alcoholic) election day.

Don’t forget:

You must have an ID to vote – and to get served after you vote.

Don't forget:

If you're looking for a polling place, call the Floyd County Democratic Party at 812-207-7941.

Don't forget:

To quote Groucho Marx, when the taps finally open at 6:00 p.m., there'll be "dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor," at least until the sad reality of Dan Coffey's inevitable victory over write-in candidate Skittles the Cat begins to sink in. I'll likely be at Connor's Place for celebration and commiseration.

You've forgotten: The following first ran on May 2, 2006.

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Another election day is here, and with it eleven hours of state-mandated prohibition against the sale of demon rum.

Presumably, this unwelcome vestige of an otherwise discredited social policy serves as a bulwark against the horrific possibility that unscrupulous politicos or their conniving agents might swap half-pints of Kessler (or a similarly valued slopping spree at a downtown tavern) in exchange for a poor wretch’s vote.

As there exists no commensurate prohibition against the sale of strong black coffee, chocolate-covered Krispy Kremes and hickory-smoked bacon, apparently the veiled but very real threat of breakfast-induced bribery is not worthy of the same scrutiny as that posed by the insidious grape and the grain.

If you’re hopelessly intoxicated after ingesting that half-pint of Kessler, are you really any more destructive to democracy than the perfectly sober voter who is following instructions provided by a fundamentalist preacher who has promised not temporal inebriation, but a favorable reference when the time comes to take up residence in heaven?

Nope, me thinks you're not. We hope you thought ahead and visited your favorite package store on Monday night. Cheers ...

10 comments:

John Alton said...

I'll bet that we have the only district in the United States that is rotating! 2 years of Baron, 2 years of Mike, 2 years more of Baron, and will it be 2 more for Mike?

Highwayman said...

Not if I can help it!

Iamhoosier said...

Did my part. Voted around 6:30. Workers at the table asked if our street had held a "vote early" rally last night, as several had voted already. 19A

Iamhoosier said...

An election funny:

Last night, my wife answered the phone and said "Okay". By her tone I knew it was some kind of telemarketer asking how she was. All of sudden she started laughing and said to the caller, "It's pronounced Evan, not EVEN, and I know about voting tomorrow, thank you."

She was still laughing as she hung up. "EVEN" Bayh was supporting Doug England for mayor. That call bank needs to do a little more training!!

Matt Nash said...

I think the law concerning the sale of alcohol are a little antiquated. After looking at the ballot I would have to be drunk to vote for some.

I also got the call that mispronounced Evan Bayh's name.

Ann said...

Voters 29 (me), 30 (Steve) and 56 (Mom) have done our civic duties.

Almost wrote in Skittles for mayor.

The New Albanian said...

Diana and I were numbers 18 & 19 at S. Ellen Jones, circa 7:20 a.m.

Skittles is just trying to gain name recognition this time around. A mayoral run in 2001 is almost guaranteed.

Iamhoosier said...

NA,
Have you gone over to the regressive side? Skittles in 2001? I know there are a lot people who keep trying to turn the clock back but never thought that you might be one of them!(VBG)

Hopefully, just a typo.

The New Albanian said...

My typos are legendary.

Yes: Skittles in 2011!

B.W. Smith said...

Skittles should have a NABC beer named after him - perhaps a variant of Elector. It would certainly boost his name recognition, although you migh run afoul of a popular chew candy with the same name.